Apparently in 1998 I thought it would be a good idea to create a list of "hoaxes" you could do to mess with people. The first (and only) was on how to make crop circles. 

Far Out Crops

In my continuing series of "plundering my hard drive for content", here is my crop circle tutorial in all its ASCII-art glory. I publish this on "The Internet" so that perhaps future generations can learn from its important wisdom.

  / / \  /
 /-/oa \/es - By Future Shock
/ /    /\
      /  \
      
      
=-Crop Circles by Akolade-=

Crop circles are 5 hours of fun.
They can be easily made with only the use of some strong rope and a flat
board. Plus some menial math will help with your design. Using some smart
math will make it more authentic. Do something with the gray binary 
system, that's always good. 
Now I saw this on TV once, but I forget it totally, but it
doesn't take a genius.

The main tool for your crop designs is a big board with some
rope to act as a handle. Here is a bad picture.
                _________________
               /                /
           ***/  flat board    /*** 
          *  /________________/    *
         *                       **
         *     rope             *
          ***  /       *********
            ***********

Now, the board should be about a meter wide maybe, and 25cms high.
Or something.
What you do with this device is step on it in a circle (or whatever
shape) which presses down the crops. Be it wheat, barley, or orange
trees, it should work fine.
Not like I've ever done this, but it's all speculation.

Now, design is another thing. Spend lotsa time on your design.
Don't just do a circle, that's lame, and the aliens don't even
do them anymore. Look at some fractals, or check out some
other crop designs for ideas. Here's some ascii designs..

  O       _    O
     o   (_)  OO
 OO   _
  O  (_)   o
              O


Ok, ASCII doesnt exactly lend itself to crop circle design.
Symmetry is always a convincing thing in a crop design.
People think symmetry suggests intelligent life.

       _
      (_)    O
      
  O   o        o
           _      O
          (_)      _
     O            (_)
       _
      (_)  o
      
      
    Well, I don't know about that one.

Another tool you'll need is  a rope, as well as a tape measure. You
need the tape measure cuz you want things to be the right size. A
bunch of randomly sized mishapen circles won't fool anybody.

Here's the process, as I can see it, of creating a crop circle frenzy.

You need at least 2 people, 3 would be better, but you could probably
get by with 2.

First, you gotta make sure you don't make tracks on the way into or
out of the field. This is done by picking premade paths or just
being careful. Sometimes there will be rows of open spaces in fields, use
them to your advantage. Next, pick your main circles center. If you
don't have a main circle, whatever, pick a center for a circle.
Now, one bloke has to stand there, and act as the axis for the
other bloke. You can use a tape measure to measure out your radius.
What you need now is a rope. Stretch it out the length of your radius.
Now the axis bloke holds on to it as the circle maker bloke walks in a 
circle. This will ensure that it is indeed a circle.  Start in the middle,
and work outward.

        o
        
        O
        _
       (_)

        __
       /  \
      (    ) 
       \__/ 

Good job!
Now you should measure distance and angles to other circles. Otherwise,
it'll be a mess, cuz it's hard as hell to tell what it looks like from
the ground. You should always be working from a central point. Put a
stick there to mark it. 



                .
                
                

that dot is the central point.

Now say, your design is just 2 circles, the same size, equal distance from
the center. Walk out your length to the center of one of the circles.
A compass could be useful, so you could keep track of the angles.
Now make the circle, return, make the other circle, get outta there.
Watch the news the next few days, and you can see what it looks like.

                _
               (_)
               
               
                .
                
                _             
               (_)
               
               
               
Good work!