The story I am about to relate to you is so dull, so boring, that I could only bring myself to tell it today. It is an ordeal spanning days, nay, weeks, 2 and a half weeks to be exact.

It all started about 3 weeks ago. I noticed spots. They were concerning. Dark spots. Could they be cancer? Could it be.. dust?
Yes, spots on my Pentax digital camera lens. Most noticable when zoomed in.

Observe the photographic evidence:



These spots were not on the outside of the lens. Believe me, I tried cleaning it, with a proper lens cloth and everything. Then spit. Then alcohol (Vodka). Then Coca-Cola. Not even battery acid would get rid of those spots.

I know they don't look like much, but it's not exactly something you want on every photo you take. Just look at the type of quality photos I have taken with my Pentax that would of been ruined with those spots!



So, my options were as follows:
A) Live with the spots
B) Take it to be repaired, which would take who-knows how long
C) Return it and get a new one

Option A is not an option, as I hate spots. They are almost as bad as Dead Pixels, which caused me to return my original Nintendo DS a few years back.

Option B wasn't desired as I was (am) leaving for Florida in a few weeks (Wednesday), and didn't want to be without my camera.

So, Option C it was, and since it was from Costco, it was no problem.
So I returned it to Costco. However, I forgot the charger from the box, so I had to drive home and come back. Then I returned it and went to get a new one.
However, I neglected to see if they still carried my particular brand of camera.
They did not.
They carried a similar one, but it wasn't quite as tiny as my Optio S7, and that was the main thing I liked about that camera. I could carry it easily in my pocket, to concerts, parks, and strip clubs.
But I bought it anyways. The Pentax A10. The main reason is that I already had bought an extra Pentax battery, which would only work in their cameras, so I didn't want to buy a different brand.
I brought the camera home, and tried it out. It was slightly more megapixels than my S7, so that was a plus. Not that I ever found 7 Megapixels to be "too few pixels".
Then I tried the video mode out. And noticed... DEAD PIXELS.

Obviously, this camera went right back to Costco. They were getting to know me there by now.

I then checked a few other stores, but no one carried the Optio S7 anymore. So I went online, and found that Black's Photo carried it, and for $100 off! Yay.
I am always a little weary of ordering from places that aren't named "Amazon", but I did anyways, thinking it would be plenty of time to arrive before I departed for Florida.

They shipped the camera 8 days later, despite their "3-4 business days", but luckily, it arrived today, spot free.



Thus concludes this terrible post about a digital camera.

On Wednesday I leave for Orlando Florida to go to Disneyworld. And Sebadoh of course. I'm not sure what I'll have for Internet there. Chances are I'll have some sort of hook up, as I'll be bringing a laptop along. I'll try to post pictures of Giant Mice and Indie Rock Stars when I get the chance.

In the meantime, I have reassembled my robot Robolade, which assaulted this blog back in August. I have programmed in some new AI, so maybe he'll say something new. I've installed a potted plant and some new tinfoil into his central processing unit, along with a fresh coat of paint and a new air freshener. I told him to post once a day, so keep a look out. Sorry if anything is incredibly offensive. It all depends on the roll of his random number generator really.



I'll be back next Friday. Enjoy the cold wind and snow.

I was browsing through Myspace pages the other day. And I gotta say, there are a lot of queermos out there! Seriously!

Here are a few

Kenward for example. What is with this person? Kenward looks like someone took a standing vac-u-loc thin dong 7 inch and made him sow it while undergoing a briana banks vibrating pussy and anus!

Oh, and check out this person named Boyce. Total ball licker, don't you think? Yikes.

The scariest of all though, and I mean doubtfully scary, is Burgess. Burgess makes Kenward and Boyce look like a couple of logics. After looking at Burgess's Myspace page, I went in the corner and throve for almost an hour. It was that bad.

Anyways, to clear my head and let me forget the parsimonious horrors I witnessed on Myspace, I started reading the Wikipedia page on Underworlds. Pretty interesting. Did you know that Underworlds have onerous items? It's true. Read for yourself.

Here's a picture of a Underworld I found on a porn site:
 

Pretty glossy.

 

Time to withhold the old nunchukus (A.K.A. Teaching Your Kids To Swim), talk to you later.

Current Music: Weiner Zit - "Yours Nurse Vexes Mysteriously"
Current Mood: Grinding

George Bush Houston Intercontinental Airport...

Hey there. I just got back from The Nappy Terminology, a new restaurant in town. It's sort of like The Cheesecake Cafe, but with less new taverns in the food. I found the atmosphere quite shearing. I ordered the special, which was Building Vagrant on a Bed of Kooks. It tasted sort of like fat-can, crossed with some sort of pisshead depiction. You know?

After dinner, I went for a walk downtown. I snapped this photo:
 

After I took that picture, I really had to overtaken a semester, so I went into the nearest alley where I proceeded to playing with yourself. Right on the deity!

Ya, then I got arrested.

It's alright, I escaped. I frostbitten the cop with my mahogany longstaff, which I had in my back pocket. He'll be alright.

So here I am, back at home, getting ready to watch one of my favourite shows: Saying Lawley. It's better than sitting a glossy tower in Belleville, Ontario!

 

Well that's about it for this post, I have to get back to abiding my hand axe.

Current Music: Snoop Dogg's Diary Of A Pimp For They - "Snoop Dogg's Diary Of A Pimp Theme"
Current Mood: Shining

Ok, so I had lunch with the other day. It was pretty imaginary, except for all the saying. After that I went to HMV to buy the new album by Keyon And The Morning Stars. It's called "Go Me Woebegone Sermon". I gotta say, it's not the best album I've ever heard. In fact, I've heard better things come out my back-door after Taco night. Sorry, but it's true. Keyon And The Morning Stars have been getting worse and worse since their first album, Weiner Lana, which is one of my favourite albums ever. What ever happened to the nervous guitar playing? The tall drum beats? The ablaze bass parts? I think Keyon smoked too many drugs, or spent too much time shaking the bottle.

Here's the album cover:

I think I'll take this to the local pawn shop in exchange for a new crotchless panties (glow in the dark). Mine is zincking pretty daffy lately.

 

Time to cling the old adamantine sickle (A.K.A. Beating The Snake), talk to you later.

Current Music: Penis With Suction Cup For Each - "Penis With Suction Cup Theme"
Current Mood: Overdrawing

 

Ever hear of a band called Abdomen? Well, Abdomen is the worst band on the earth. I catch whenever I hear Abdomen.
I dont know what the crap is with those guys. I'd rather eat poop out of my rear-end than ever listen to a Abdomen record again.
Straight out of my rear-end. What kind of piece of distended rectum would ever listen to this piece of pooper music? A real giant pussy I guess. Whatever.

 

Have a good night, and don't lend too many quiets.

Current Music: Elsdon and the Up Close Shave Cream (honey Almond) - "Speed and Absorbed"
Current Mood: Zincking

Hi, I am back from Florida. I see my robot posted daily when I was gone. Even I was surprised at Robolade's constant use of the term "cum drinker". Sorry about that.

Overall the trip went well. I spent every day in Florida at something Disney related, even the days where we went to Universal and NASA. Always, I ended up back at Disney. Let me tell you this: 7 days straight of Disney is not a good thing. The terrifying dreams I had the night I got back made me think I was losing my mind. I am so sick of Disney right now that it pains me to write about it.



Let me describe Disneyworld: It is one giant line. At the end of the line, you go home, because the park closes. If you want to get through the lines faster, you stand in line to get a "Fast Pass". Then you come back at a later hour and use your Fast Pass, which means, you stand in the shorter Fast Pass Line. Lines lines lines. After your stay at Disneyworld, you will be quite used to standing in lines. Standing for 30 minutes in line will seem easy, because you stood for an hour waiting for Space Mountain, talking to some people in front of you from Ohio.

One thing at Disneyworld, is that there are a lot of people from all over the place. But the MAIN places seemed to be these:
New York/New Jersey, England, Ohio, Georgia, Other Redneck States, Canada.

First, the New Yorkers. They travel in large groups. Usually 3 generations of the family. And the accents, wow do THOSE get tiring. Not my least favourite accent (that would be the Redneck states), but they do get annoying. They also wear lots of gold jewelry. I also think they are all in the Mafia. Television has taught me things.

The Redneck States. Sorry to lump everyone into a group, but it's just easier that way. You all do have couches in front of your trailers right? I love stereotypes.
First of all, I don't know how they stand having a conversation. Their accents are hilarious. You would think they would be constantly pointing and laughing at one another after each word.
I saw a fine example of Rednecks while standing in line at The Mummy ride at Universal studios. A family of two men, two women, and a child or two. One of the men was wearing a shirt with the Confederate Flag on the back which read "If this flag offends you, you need a history lesson". I looked at the black couple behind us and tried to make it clear "we weren't with them".



This family spent their time physically attacking each other, as some sort of fun game. Punching and pinching and grabbing each other. Well, more precisely it went like this:

-The Men hit the Women
-The Women hit the Children
-The Children learn how to treat Women and Children when they become Men

They were the most fucking annoying wastes of flesh I have ever witnessed, and I've been to Fort Macleod.

Anyways, moving on.

The British. There were a lot of British people there. Apparently it's a popular place for Brits. The good thing about them is, they have the coolest accent, especially when it's the children. Hearing a British child say "Did you see the robot which had four light sabers?" with a British Accent is just awesome. I want to kidnap one of them and just make them talk!

We met quite a few Canadians as well. One dude from Medicine Hat even, who was at our hotel.

And also, Florida drivers don't signal. Ever.



I am really sick of talking about Disney right now, so I will stop and start writing about the Sebadoh show perhaps.

Later, cum drinkers!

Dear Delta Airlines,

Recently, I made some comments about your company, including comparing your CEO to Adolf Hitler, and claiming that you were responsible for the events of 9/11. Oh, and I also said you killed grandmas. And ate babies.

And killed Jesus.

I would like to apologize if I have offended anyone at Delta Airlines with my poor taste in humour. I was just trying to make a joke, like other great comedians such as Michael Richards and Don Imus. Boy aren't those guys just hilarious?

Please know that this was clearly a joke, because you guys could never have pulled off something like 9/11. It would take way too much planning and coordination.

In closing, I want my t-shirts back, thank you.

-Akolade

Check out this graphic made by KCRG News for their story on the Virginia Tech shooting.



Tasteful, no? The gun is all like, BLAMMO! You know, like the gun in the shooting! That killed all those students! Ya, that gun.

***UPDATE*** They have since changed the graphic to a photo instead. Apparently they read my Livejournal.

Some Music related reminders:

CD's released today:
Joel Plaskett Emergency "Ashtray Rock": I've heard varying reports on how this album sounds. Here's hoping Joel isn't losing his mind.

Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero": I don't really listen to Trent anymore, but for those who do, enjoy the rage. As Achilles and I used to say "Give her shit, Trent Buddy".

Playing in Calgary, May 11:
Peter Bjorn and John at Mac Hall. I recently purchased their 2 older albums. I can't believe they selected Calgary as one of the 3 Canadian dates they are playing. Go to Ticketmaster now and give them your money while you still can!

Playing at the Tongue and Groove, April 20 and 21 (this weekend):
The Square Waves, that being my band of many keyboards and some stringed instruments as well. Friday we have Bonnaventure James and the Deluxe Belgium opening, which will surely be a collage of interesting electro soundscapes. On Saturday, we are opening for Calgary's own Azeda Booth, who recently released an EP.

I am selling my Condo.

It is a super sweet place that I love and enjoy and really don't want to have to get rid of. I have a super hot girlfriend who I am going to start a family with who already has a little boy. So we need some more space.

disregard the photo of the outside of the building, because while that is my building, it is not my side of the building.




Anyways, its late.


Buy my condo!

Current Music: New NIN CD