October 2006

Hercules

Submitted by Akolade on Monday, October 2, 2006 - 15:55

The other day I was looking through Wikipedia, trying to figure out how Hercules died.

Then I realized I had no idea why I was looking through Wikipedia, trying to figure out how Hercules died.

So, that was weird.

BTW his 3rd wife killed him because she thought he was cheating on her.

He probably was, that womanizer.

Current Music: The Wedding Present

It's Hitler... in Teapot form!

Submitted by Akolade on Tuesday, October 3, 2006 - 10:43

Why?

I blocked him

Submitted by Akolade on Tuesday, October 3, 2006 - 20:07

Yay music

Submitted by Akolade on Thursday, October 5, 2006 - 09:21

Jason Molina

2 CDs arrived for me yesterday: Magnolia Electric Co.: Fading Trails and Bonnie Prince Billy: The Letting Go. I also received the latest Jason Molina (singer of Magnolia Electric Co.) solo record a few weeks ago. Sweet.

Quartermass was nice enough to pick me up tickets for the October 14 Magnolia Electric Co. show in Calgary. Last time I saw him I didn't have the new album yet so I didn't know a lot of the songs. This time I will be prepared to sing along, really loudly, disturbing those around me.

So much good music in these last few months of the year. There is a new Decemberists, a new Joanna Newsom in November, a new Trail Of Dead right quick, and I thought I heard there was a new one from The Shins soon.

Yay music.

Current Music: Bonnie 'Prince' Billy: The Letting Go

Myspace Hates Our Province

Submitted by Akolade on Thursday, October 5, 2006 - 16:57

...Uuuh, Myspace, I think you're forgetting something.

My Morning

Submitted by Akolade on Friday, October 6, 2006 - 08:56

My morning:

8:13am - The DJs on Rock 106 say how this weekend is some special "all rock" weekend. Yes, they will be playing ONLY ROCK MUSIC the ENTIRE Thanksgiving weekend! So instead of the usual mix of Jazz, Folk, Baroque and Celtic-Fusion, you are guaranteed some Van Halen or Aerosmith. Good to know.

8:16am - I go to Macs to buy an Orange Juice. I've had a bit of a cold this week so I figure it's better to start the day with juice rather than a coffee. I am in line behind 2 people, wondering what is taking so long. Then I realize: "Oh, Lottery tickets".
It's ALWAYS lottery tickets. I hate waiting in line behind people buying/claiming lottery tickets. It's like "Hey, I'm trying to buy an actual physical possesion here. I'm buying juice. This woman is buying a newspaper. I hate you". All I'm saying is, they should have a seperate counter for lottery tickets. One that does not interfere with people buying things. And oh ya, she was wearing Crocs.

8:19am - As I am leaving the store, I notice a new gig poster, advertising a show at The Slice on October 30th, featuring non-other than Julie Doiron, the female voice of Canadian indie-rock legends Eric's Trip, one of the bands that showed me the way back in highschool.
Pretty awesome. I know she tried to play here a few months back but schedules didn't work out. There were also a bunch of other names on the poster but I forget. I think a member of the Constantines? Anyways, check out Julie on October 30.

8:31am - Wrote this.

Something or other.

Submitted by Akolade on Wednesday, October 11, 2006 - 16:46

Wow I haven't posted in awhile.

Let's see...

what to talk about... what to...talk aaaabouuttt...

Um. Lost is on tonight. Ya.. soo... gonna watch THAT then... uuuh..

Ummmm..

The Office is on tomoorrroww... that show is good. ..what with the funny and the laughs and all... sooo...yaa...

um, what else.... hmm... I killed a hooker and dumped her body in the river... so ya... I did THAT last night... uuuh..

..ya that about covers it. I'll try better next time.

WPMV: Loading Zones

Submitted by Akolade on Thursday, October 12, 2006 - 08:14

And now for the latest installment of "What Perturbs Me Vehemently ^TM "!

Hello readers. Do you know what really Perturbs Me Vehemently ^TM ?

Parents who park their cars in the loading zone at Nicholas Sheran school in the morning when you are trying to drop your kid off for school.

There are 2 parts to the parking lot: the loading zone, where you Load or Unload, and the Parking Lot, where (you might want to sit down for this)... you Park.

See a map here!

Almost every morning, there are parents who just park their car and leave it, creating a nice immovable obstacle in the already tiny loading zone. Apparently they can't be bothered to loop around and park in the parking lot, which as I mentioned earlier, is for parking.

Then there are the parents that drop off their kids, and sit in their car, apparently watching over their children just in case one of those 8am child abductors who like kidnapping children in broad daylight in front of parents and teachers comes by.

Here's an idea: maybe your children can handle going inside the school on their own. Maybe it's time to let go. Do you come back at lunch to watch over them too? Recess? Boy, you sure do sit around watching kids a lot. You know, some people might say that a person sitting in their car watching kids is a bit suspicious. Look how the concerned parent has turned into the child predator!

It's at this point that I have forgotten what I was actually talking about so I will end this with an inspirational quote:

He who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary.

That only makes sense if you say it out loud. Later!

What Perturbs Me Vehemently is a regular column written by Akolade, and does not neccessarily represent the views or opinions of the staff at Future Shock Media Conglomerate and its subsidiaries. Please buy Akolade's new rap album Tha Foshizzlesnap Index available from Death Row Records, street date November 14, 2006, featuring guest appearances by Eve, Paris Hilton, Missy Elliot, and British singing sensation Rick Astley. Seacrest out.

Blog Pose

Submitted by Akolade on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 16:35

Magnolia Co

Submitted by Akolade on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 23:21

I headed up to Calgary Saturday to see Magnolia Electric Co. at the HiFi Club.. The last time I saw them was May of last year, at the HiFi Club once again.. The last show had pretty crappy sound so I was really hoping for something better this time.

I arrived at 9:00pm and the club wasn't very busy yet but had just enough people to make sure there was no where to sit. I saw Jason Molina walking around the club a few a times but never made the effort to go up to him and say "Hey.. I like you.. you're..cool.. um.. sooo.. do you like stuff?".

P-bone showed up too, though somehow I lost him after the show. Where were you hiding P-bone?

The show started annoyingly late. It was probably around 10:30 when the first act came on.

Here was the first act:

..Some..guy

I don't actually know who he was. I couldn't tell what he said. He was from Calgary, and mostly played acoustic guitar, but played a couple on electric. Really, most of his songs sounded the same, with the same tempo and similar guitar parts. Plus I couldn't make out the words which doesn't help. The HiFi Club is too echoey.

The next band was Kent McAlister and his band who performed Honkey-Tonk-Roots-Country-Esque music. They were a really tight band who knew what they were doing. The slide-guitar player was pretty rad. The drummer was weird and was making faces throughout the entire show, and he sort of looked like Neil McKenna, who's name I know I just spelt wrong, but whatever.

Kent McAlister

Anyways, then Magnolia Electric Co. finally came on, and opened with one of my favourite new songs "Talk To Me Devil, Again". The sound was a bit better than last time, at least I could make out the instruments better and hear some of the singing.

Magnolia Electric Co.

One key difference this time was that they didn't have a steel-guitar player, and instead had an organ player. The organ was good, but certain songs were really lacking because of the absence of the steel guitar. The lead guitar player Jason Groth played the steel-guitar parts on electric, but it wasn't quite the same. Nevertheless, it was still a good show.

Jason Molina

Horn!

The set was a bit short, and you could see that they had more songs on their setlist then they played. I got the impression that Jason Molina was annoyed the show started so late (it was 1:30 by the time it finished). However they did play my favourite song from last show, "Texas 71", which is STILL not released officially.

On the drive home, I made sure to stop a mile away from the red-light camera intersection where I got my ticket, which also made me swear. I tried to take a picture of it, and realized the flash of my camera probably made the people in front of me think they got a red-light camera ticket, which made me happy.

Then I almost fell asleep about 57 times on the drive back. That was great!

Magnolia Electric Co.

Wii have a strap!

Submitted by Akolade on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 11:33

Not the most compelling ad for the Wii.

And I'm sure it's not much better if you understand Japanese either.

(no title)

Submitted by Akolade on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 23:00

Today was my birthday. I am old and almost dead!

Since it was my birthday, I did what most people do: I looked at old email.

Here is an email from sent to me on my birthday 4 years ago (2002):

I should eat count chocula before bedtime more often!
I had some fuckedup dreams last night!
one was a really cheesy 80s action show like the A-Team, but with cool gadgets. We had a plane that was a big ugly ass thing and I realized that it was a transformer. and I'm like hey! Our plane is a transformer. and they're like yeah. and I'm like well... why havnt we ever had it transform before? I was new to the team.
Also I made out with Julie Doiren and the girl from Low. but then they found out that I had been making out with the other one and got mad at me. and before that, I was in a back-lot for movies and shit and walked up the side of a building on a horse.
and all sorts of wierd shit.

That guy has weird dreams.

God has AOL.

Submitted by Akolade on Thursday, October 19, 2006 - 08:20

I drive by a church each morning on my way to work. It has on of those letter signs out front, which features "funny" messages relating to God, Christ, and other hilarious Christian topics.

As of right now it says the following (simulated with the Church Sign Generator):

Download your worries. Get On-line with God.

Strictly speaking here, this would suggest that you:

1) Log on to a server of some sort, which is run by God.
2) Download worries to your machine
3) Enjoy your brand new worries, courtesy of God, and wonder why you are a Christian.

I think the guy who does the signs doesn't quite understand his Internet terminology. I think these signs would be more accurate:

Now God is being helpful, where before he was being a dick.

Stand Up

Submitted by Akolade on Tuesday, October 24, 2006 - 01:33

I'm watching Letterman and this standup comic just did an entire routine on Greeting Cards.

I laughed 0 times.

Please allow me to perform my very own stand up routine on the following random noun: vacuums.

What is the deal with Vacuums? I mean, come on. Why do they put those lights on top? I mean, is anyone really vacuuming in the dark? If the lights don't work in your house, doesn't that mean the power is out and the vacuum won't work? I mean, come on.

<laughter>

I was vacuuming the other day and I vacuumed up the cord. Before I knew it, the vacuum had vacuumed up the entire vacuum, and I was like, "what, is my vacuum the Ouroboros all of a sudden? Is my vacuum symbolizing ideas of cyclicality and primordial unity? Come ON!"

<laughter>

And what is with those handheld vacuums? I mean come on. What can you really vacuum up with that? "Oh no, I spilt some chips. Get the handi-vac." Seriously, get a BROOM.

<laughter>

And what's with this Flowbee? Have you heard about this? It's an attachment for your vacuum that cuts your hair. I mean, come on. Ever hear of scissors?

<silence>

Scissors?

<silence>

Ok, thanks, I'll be here all week, please try the fish.

Show Tonight

Submitted by Akolade on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 09:17

Remember to check out Woolly Leaves (Will Kidman of constantines), Shotgun & Jaybird, and Julie Doiron tonight at the Slice, provided they didn't crash in the snow.
Ya.

Julie Doiron/Shotgun & Jaybird/Etc

Submitted by Akolade on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 03:31

Julie Doiron / Shotgun & Jaybird / Woolly Leaves / Trevor Gemmel at The Slice, October 30 2006.

Shotgun & Jaybird

The show started at around 9:30 or so. The place eventually got pretty full, which was nice to see especially on a freezing cold Monday night.

Trevor Gemmel

Trevor played some songs he wrote a few days ago, and some Sabre Tooth Tigers songs, as well as a Danger Kids song called "Vampire Girl" which fit with the near-Halloween event. The kind of music you would listen to on headphones late at night I would say. Trevor was filling in for a few people who ended up not showing up (local people no less).

Woolly Leaves

Woolly Leaves (Wil Kidman of the Constantines) was next, playing mostly solo acoustic music. He looked like a cross between a young Bob Dylan, Noah Mintz (of hHead) and Hayden, but not as scruffy. His set was good, and I look forward to hearing the CD. I think he thought it went badly, probably because everyone was talking through his set. But actually it was really good.

Shotgun & Jaybird

Shotgun & Jaybird were next, which features Julie on bass and some vocals. I had never heard them before so I didn't know what to expect. I was thinking something folky. I was pleasantly surprised to find out they were like a new version of Pavement. Not as quirky as Pavement, but definitely a lot of similar sounds in places, and the one guitarist had a definite Stephen Malkmus stance to him.

I wanna range life...

Their set was probably one of the best things I'd seen in awhile, and they got a good reaction from the crowd. I picked up their album and EP after they were done, both on the Sappy imprint which Julie has brought back.

Shotgun & Jaybird

Julie Doiron

Julie played last, making use of a dual drumkit for some of her set. It was getting quite late at this point (after midnight) and she kept apologizing for it being late and thanking people for staying around. Just what you would expect from Julie I guess. At one point she asked if anyone had requests, so I hollered out "Dance Music" and she misunderstood and played The Macarana. HAHA. No, she played her song "Dance Music" off her first Broken Girl album.

After she was done some of us went over to talk with the various band members. Julie is a very chatty person and kept talking about her trip to the Value Village here in Lethbridge, and how she had to go to the bathroom, and how certain establishments make her have to go to the bathroom, like Used Bookstores and Libraries and Thrift Stores. I also swear she elaborated on her "needing to go to the bathroom" but I won't type it because it's just wrong. Moving along...

Julie points to Eric's Trip

I talked to her about Eric's Trip a bit, and she said how they reformed for some shows over the summer, and she even made one of her bandmates reveal his brand-new Eric's Trip shirt for me. She told me Rick White was recording another Solo album and wanted her to sing on it but she didn't know if she could make it as he lives in Toronto and she (and the other 2 Eric's Trip members) still live in New Brunswick. Needless to say, she is a real nice lady and seemed pleased with the turnout.

Then I realized I was the last non-band member in the room, so I thought I should leave before anyone walked by the window and laughed at me.

takes pictures better than mine

And also, all my Livejournal "friends" didn't talk to me because they hate me. Like WTF dudes!? Oh and I saw Dino in fo-real life, but didn't talk to him, because once again, the hate.

Sorry, I gotta go. My Windows Live Messenger just pointed out that Sarah Mclachlan has a new album, and I gots to check that shit out! Or I won't.

Halloween (in Spooky Vision)

Submitted by Akolade on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 12:00

Well, there is snow everywhere and it's freezing cold out. That can only mean one thing: Halloween! Now is the time for the kids to find out if they can fit their winter coat underneath their costume, or if Darth Maul will be sporting a snazzy Sunice jacket over his robe this year.

Halloween is the time to go to the rich neighborhoods and try to find the house that gives out the Full Size Chocolate Bars, and not the house that gives out the Handful Of Suckers from the same box of suckers they've been using since the Carter administration. Remember, when you find that house with the good stuff, come back a little later after altering your costume slightly. They will never know that the Jengo Fett before them is the same kid as the Boba Fett 5 minutes ago.

And who can forget going from house to house, realizing that everyones house smells strongly of different kinds of food. Cabbage, Curry, Gravy, Sweet Potatoes. Then you start to wonder "does my house smell too or am I just used to it?". The truth? Your house smells too. Trust me. Go on a vacation for a week and come back, then you will smell it. You're house smells like Borscht and you didn't even realize it!

And make sure to hit the local McDonalds: in my day, they used to give out tiny containers of Fries. I'm sure this got abused and they stopped doing that by now, just like all good things: leaving your 6 year old home alone while you go out to the bar, smoking in restaraunts, and casual sex. Or 7-11. They used to give out tiny Slurpees. And don't forget The Top Hat. They will only smack you on the ass, but it's free!

Anyways, I am off to spend a wholesome evening of trick or treating with the family. If you are wondering what is up to for Halloween, here are some pictures. Ya, that's about what I was expecting.

Robolade's tweets

Am I a big jerk face if I shave my cunt? #shavedcunt — 9 weeks 5 days ago
I'd describe "Growing Pains" as a cross between "Goodnight Mister Tom" and the wormiest Julio Herzer movie. — 9 weeks 5 days ago
Did anyone see Pop Will Eat Itself's cameo on The Real Ghostbusters last night? ROFLSOCKS — 9 weeks 5 days ago
puh. #puhtweet — 9 weeks 5 days ago
Could really go for an equable fatherland right now. — 9 weeks 6 days ago
I'm hiring Three Days Grace to play my wedding! #ROFL — 9 weeks 6 days ago
Check out this photo of Amelia Earheart playing at Whispers last night. http://t.co/93zfyiVkRD — 9 weeks 6 days ago
Watching the Biography Channel. Episode on Alan Napier. Didn't know he did porn. #cumdumpster — 9 weeks 6 days ago
Is Matlock new this week? — 9 weeks 6 days ago
Come see my band Organic Snail play tonight at Five Guys Burgers And Fries! — 9 weeks 6 days ago

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Monthly archive

All...

fshock journal

October 2006

Hercules

It's Hitler... in Teapot form!

I blocked him

Yay music

Myspace Hates Our Province

My Morning

Something or other.

WPMV: Loading Zones

Blog Pose

Magnolia Co

Wii have a strap!

(no title)

God has AOL.

Stand Up

Show Tonight

Julie Doiron/Shotgun & Jaybird/Etc

Halloween (in Spooky Vision)

Robolade's tweets

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